Ok I’ve been real busy lately, but I’ve been dying to right this post so I have to get it out of me.

My family is a huge American Idol fan. They watch it everytime it’s on. Usually I do too, but not this year. Because I don’t think anyone on the show is worth watching. I’ve tried to watch it, but it’s painful for me. And here’s my biggest complaint.

I hate David Cook. I don’t care what you say. He cannot sing. I thought it was just me at first. I listened to him the first couple times and thought he was terrible. My wife thinks he’s great, I’ve got friends that think he’s great. So I gave a second chance and a third chance. But he still CAN’T sing. I’m sorry he can’t. He’s all over the place. He can’t stay on pitch. A perfect example: Dare you to Move by switchfoot he tried to do the other night. That was God Awful. My ears were bleeding. He does something weird to his voice when he sings…not natural at all. His tonality sucks… He can’t sing. I cannot stand to listen to the man sing. It actually angers me. I don’t know why. I’ve never felt this way about any other contestant. Maybe it’s just because I feel like I’m the only one that can actually hear him. I don’t know.

I like to sing. I don’t think I have the best voice, I don’t think I’d have a chance of even getting on American Idol let alone making it to the finals. But I’ll tell you what I can sing better then David Cook.

So my wife has been baiting me to write a post about it. She likes to torment me with how great David Cook is. I know she’s just doing it to get under my skin. So I know she’ll post a comment or something about this soon.

If you watch American Idol tell me what you think of David Cook. But if you like him, you better leave your musical credentials along with your comments if you want even an ounce of credibility with me.

Well I lead worship this Sunday at my church. I always enjoy reading the breakdown of other worship leaders so I thought I’d pass mine along. We did an acoustic set… 2 guitar players, 2 Vocalist (male & female).

So here’s my issue…And i’m self-aware enough to know this…and I’m ok with it. I can’t do anything that’s easy. For whatever reason I just can’t…it’s not in my nature. Easy = boring. And I like a challenge. I like to make life hard for myself and those around me. So picking out 4-5 songs we could play in our sleep is just no fun. So I enjoy torturing myself and picking different songs with different arrangements with limited instrumentation. Sounds like fun right???

So for this weeks worship set I picked out

How great thou art (the version from Passion Hymns)
How great is our god (tomlin)
All I have (a vineyard song)
Jesus Paid it All (Kristian Stanfill - Passion version)

I was curious to see how How great thou art and Jesus paid it all would turn out - I knew this would be a challenge. We hadn’t done those before - though everyone knows them - and doing acoustic versions of the songs are a lot different then the Passion versions. It’s harder to build a song and have a lot of dynamics without drums, keyboards, bass, & electric guitars. I think I’m able to get away with doing songs and things like this most of the time because I’m able to affect the dynamics and build of a song vocally. I wasn’t sure if I would get away with it on these however.

So practice… Was interesting…always interesting. But there’s something cool about people with different taste, feelings and opinions getting together and making something work. I enjoy practicing. I walked away feeling OK… Seriously questioned playing it safe and scrapping the set. Even up to Sunday morning… but each time I wanted too I just couldn’t. I felt like I had picked the right set.

Sunday came…

First Song - I think we did it as best we could given our limitations. Congregation didn’t know how to jump into the different arrangement. Not a lot of singing back and forth…I think they caught onto it by the end. Hopefully they enjoyed it and it was meaningful. The song has a lot of meaning to me. I remember my dad singing it like every week in our little church in Durand, MI growing up. He was a new pastor just starting out… We probably had less then 20 people in the congregation. But my dad sang that song with so much passion and love for God. Whenever I here the words “Then sings my Soul”…I hear my dad’s ragged tenor tones ringing out. And I can’t help but want to hold out that “how great thou A————-R————–T” just like he did.

Second song - The congregation loves “How great is our god” I think they could lead it without me. The songs worn out for me a little…but tied into the first one well. Same theme. Same message. I love tying older songs into newer songs…Seems to breathe new life into both for me at least, bridges a gap connects generations. The guitar players played the melody a little different then usual, worked ok (I wasn’t going to argue with them after making them do How great thou art & Jesus paid it all ). “Name above all names…” Gets me everytime. Good song.

Third song - All I have, a newer song for us from a Vineyard CD not to long ago. Easy song to play…catchy…simple…always moves me. Fits my voice very well. This is one of my favorite songs to sing.

Fourth song - Jesus Paid it all - I’ve known the chorus forever, but to my surprise I never heard the verses. Simple song…I thought it tied into All I have nicely. This one is a lot better with the full band…but was on my mind all week so I really wanted to do it. The tag Kristian Stanfill added on the end really brings the song home for me…

“O praise the one who paid my debt
and raised this life up from the dead”

Great reminder that Jesus did everything we could not…and cannot do even today. That we are alive…resurrection power living in us…through us… A reminder to go and live with that power and with the knowledge that your life is not your own.

finished up the second set with

Invitacion Fountain - Simple song, great for a male/female back and forth lead. There’s a lot of room/space in this song…to do what you feel vocally. I like that with songs… Don’t like feeling you have to sing every line and lick a certain way.

Amazing Grace (My chains Are Gone) - I think this is one our church’s favorites. When we hit the tag “My chains are gone…” It feels like the roof is going to blow off. I will never get tired of this song.

Everything glorious - Good song…but we killed it…played it way too slow. I felt hopeless. I wanted to stop it and restart it…But i could never do that. This is where not playing an instrument sucks…you’re at the mercy of someone else. You fight it for a bit…then you just say oh well and go with the flow. I’m working on the guitar….give me time.

All in all - I was happy. Never satisfied, don’t get me wrong. God was praised…and I don’t think we got in the way, so I think that’s a success. Three hymns in one service??? Wow, that’s got to be a first. I bet some people were a little worried on their ride home

Quote of the day:

“When Jesse (our pastor) said you were going to do Amazing Grace, I thought oh no, they’ve already butchered one classic today what are they going to do to that?”

Don’t worry it was a warm hearted comment said in Jest. And even if not…that’s ok. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion…. Even if they’re wrong

I came across a good post today that I can completely relate to.  Here it is check it out…I’ve copied and pasted my favorite parts from the post here.

It has a great quote from LIFESTORIES by Mark Hall lead singer from (Casting Crowns) whom I really love…

“When I’m not living for Jesus daily and show up at church after squeezing out life on my own terms all week, I’m needy when I walk through the doors.

• I need the greeter to make me feel welcome.
• I need my friends to sit by me.
• I need my soloist  to sing my favourite song.
• I need the pastor to be engaging.
• I need the small group leader to love on me and do cartwheels when I enter.
• I need the small group leader to call me when I’m sick.

I am so needy because I’m not complete when I get there, and when I’m not being completed by my walk with Jesus, I unwittingly demand completeness from people.  I raise the bar of expectations, and people don’t meet my needs because it is impossible for people to do so.”

Mark then goes on to contrast that to walking daily with Jesus.

“When I faithfully pursue God, spending time with Him in Bible study and a spirit of unceasing prayer, then I’m completed by Him.  He indeed is all I need.

When I walk into church, I see people like He sees them.  In other words, I recognize and acknowledge that I’m an instrument.  I walk in and want to sit by others as a ministry.  I want to help greet visitors.  I want to make sure somebody called those who were sick.  Why?  Because a life of praise comes from understanding that this life is not about us.  It’s about something bigger than us.  It’s about loving God and loving others, the two greatest commandments.”

I completely relate to that.  There are times when I walk into church and need others to be on their game…I need their encouragement, I need their smiles, their handshakes, their laughs, their hugs and pats on the back.  I need their worship to be true and uplifting, their speaking/preaching to be thoughtful, encouraging, challenging and God breathed.  Now I realize that’s not really fair…but that’s reality.

There are other times when I feel on my game…  And I do feel that need to jump in and help others and get involved.

That’s one of the great things about being a part of the body.  When one part is weak another is strong…  We can’t always be on our game and when we’re not it’s nice to be able to count on people to help lift you up, strengthen you and bring you out of funk or something.

Next time you walk in the church doors or really any door this might be a good thing to think about.  What do I need to do?  What is today about?  Am I full or empty?  Complete or incomplete?  Should I focus on receiving from others, receiving from God?  Should I focus on giving to others, giving to God?

So I’ve had my iphone now for about a month.  I’m still loving it of course.  But in that time I’ve struggled with the idea of having a case or not.  Wisdom says that if you spend $500 on a device you ought to find a way to protect it, but I never found a case that worked for me.  And let’s be honest we’ve all dropped our ordinary phones before.  I just got tired of being nervous every time I pulled my iphone in and out my pocket so last week I set out on a desperate search to find the perfect iphone case for me.

So the things I was looking for 1.) full protection - I wanted something to cover the screen, that’s really the only thing I’m worried about.  Don’t get me wrong…I don’t want my casing all dinged up, but if it gets a ding it’s not unusable.  If the glass screen breaks, cracks, chips…you’re screwed.  And your beautiful little device just isn’t the same.  The problem is that most cases don’t cover the screen because doing so would disable the touch control use.  The only option I saw available at this point was the static stick on film, but I’m sorry those just don’t work for me, they get all bubbly and take away the whole feeling good about using your phone appeal to me.  There were also removable covers, but if I have to take a cover on or off everytime I use…I just won’t and that would defeat the purpose.   2.) Simple Design - I wanted something that was simple, not colorful, not bulky, nothing that pimps out the phone.  Clear was prefered.

At first I couldn’t find anything.  I finally came across a case that sounded interesting.  The Xylo T2.  I came close to buying it, but it was like $35 and I could not find a single review of it anywhere I looked so I had no idea if it would work or not.  I didn’t want to take the risk of throwing away about $40 so I kept on looking.  Still nothing…  In an effort of last resort I turned to Youtube.  If you’re looking for anything chances are it’s on Youtube.  Youtube is the best search engine now if you ask me.  So wouldn’t you know I found a video about a case mate case, called Naked Case.  Looked cool.  I went to the website to find it, it wasn’t listed anywhere.  I did a search somewhere and found it on their site.  It regularly list for $35 but they were selling them for $10 + $3 shipping to a limited amount of people to try so I bought one.  It arrived yesterday, and so far so good.  I love it.  The entire phone is protected…the touch screen still works.  It’s everything I wanted.

Weird….While writing the post I’ve tried to go to case-mate.com and find a link of the case, but I can’t find one.  I can’t even find a search option on their page.  I read here that they only offered them to 150 customers.  Maybe I was just lucky…well that’s a first.

Anyway…so far so good.  I love the case.  I’ll keep you posted as I go if I notice any shortcomings.  But for $13 I’m ecstatic and think I’ve found just the right case for me.

I’ve started watching a new series recently, John Adams on HBO. I love historical time pieces like this so I was excited to get started watching. In history class we tend to gloss over the finer details and just hit the highs and lows of our American heritage, but we really miss out on the grandness and richness of our story. I’m through the first 3 episodes right now and I’ll say it’s been awesome watching our American history unfold through the eyes of John and Abigail Adams, the continental congress, etc… It’s been awesome getting into the heads and hearts of these rebels/revolutionaries as they struggled with life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Episode 2 really moved me… It ended with the signing of the Declaration of Independence (Which I don’t recall ever reading from beginning to end - But I made sure I did it today)

Here’s a link to it if you want to check it out yourself.

What an awesome document.

Like most shows today, John Adams reaches back into the past to comment on and contextualize our present. I don’t know if the makes of John Adams have an agenda of their own, but I’ll give them credit they definitely make me think. They make me think about the nature of tyrannical governments (Is there intent to compare Englands King George to Ours??? I don’t know….probably) They make me think about the effects a foreign occupying military force has on both the soldiers and citizens. They make me think about the difference between a rebel/insurrectionist and a revolutionary. They make me think about how easy it is for a government to become stubborn and heavy handed in enforcing their agenda on a country, especially when that agenda is not in the best interest of the people…maybe not even what they want. (Side Note Here: Check out the grievances listed in the Declaration of Independence against King George. Do you see any similarity to what’s taking place in our country today?)

looking through the lens of the past we can’t fully appreciate what our forefathers did. Independence, revolution….was a huge decision with dire consequences. I like how the show portrayed the struggles the continental congress had dealing with this issue.

I’m proud to be an American. I think there are a lot of mixed messages today circulating our world and country, a lot of confusion about what America stands for, what America is about, what do we value, what is the American dream. It’s nice to go back to the beginning to get some clarity. I do think we’ve lost our way a little bit, somehow gotten off the track.

One part of Declaration really stood out in my mind today.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

Revolution is strong term… I don’t think we need a revolution in this country yet. But I think we definitely need some reformation. We need, once again, men and women in this country to stand up and bring clarity and focus to our present situation. We need men and women brave enough to lead us on a new course, in a new direction towards a better tomorrow.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a republican, democrat, independent, green party, libertarian, etc… We need to get beyond the issues that divide us and focus on the values and ideals we all share…we’ve got to ask ourselves what kind of nation do we want to be and then set out to make it happen. We’ve got to ask ourselves what our forefathers really wanted. Did they mean what they said? Did they believe in the equality of all mankind as endowed by the Creator? Did they believe in life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? Or where they just cleverly designed words and phrases penned on paper to justify whatever plans and schemes they concocted. I think they meant it and I wonder what they would think of our country today?

So I got my issue with my new, used, hand me down laptop (A Dell Inspiron 8600).  The problem was a bad CD/DVD drive.  I took it to Jafferson Computers in Ann Arbor, MI and they fixed it up right quick for me.  Here’s a plug for Jafferson…they’ve been great to me.  Ask for Mateen if you ever need help…

So not being satisfied to go back to a Windows world I was determined to try and install Hackintosh on my computer over the weekend.   I will admit, I was a little skeptical and didn’t think I would have much luck.  Given my experience with Linux, etc… I was expecting even worse (if that’s possible).  I was expecting some major command line conjurring, but I was pleasantly surprised.

I downloaded the Jas 10.4.8 SSE2 & SSE3 DVD iso from a poplar torrent site (Ahoy Matey) and burned it from my Mac and popped it in my dell.  It took right off, popping up on the install menu.  Using a walk thru from the OSX86 wiki  I just followed the directions.  It took me three atempts to get it to install correctly (let me explain).  There are several options specific for your computer that you are allowed to choose.  The first install attempt I installed every option except the Titan Driver (for the video card).  Upon re-booting it the computer frooze on the white apple boot screen.  I thought the problem might be with the video card, so I installed again…this time with the Titan Driver selected.  Second reboot didn’t even get that far….after the initial screen the display went all crazy so I knew it was a video card problem that time.  So my final attempt…. I decided to only install the basic drivers…no extras.  And upon boot up…It worked like a charm.

I’ll be honest, I couldn’t believe it.  I kept waiting for it to crash…or blow up…or something.  After all I don’t have the best luck with Tech stuff.  But it worked, OS X (10.4. was loaded up, It came with the essential programs (Itunes, Mail, Safari, etc….)  But that was it.  I still had video card issues.  I was stuck in a 1024X screen resolution and when you moved windows around you could see there where some rendering issues.  I also had no internet connection.

So I had to get my wireless connection and video card working if this was going to be viable.  This was the most frustrating part of the process.  Who do you call for help on these kind of issues?  You have to rely on the support of the community.  Luckily enough, the community around the OSX86 is very good.  I was able find how to fix my issues relatively quick by doing searches on google.  All the info was on insanelymac’s forumns, though strangely enough something is screwed up with their forumns in general.  The only way to search them is really from your browser search engine.

I was able to download an installer that got my wireless network working as well as a installer to get my video card going.  In all it took me about 2 hours.

The only downside is (and you could say it’s a big downside)…the Hackintosh wireless connection for some reason will not connect to my WEP encrpyted connection.  I tried all the other ones and they wouldn’t work either.  So for right now my wireless network is wide open.  I’m still going to work on that.

So bottom line…the process was really easy.  I’m not a hacker, not a programmer, not even really good with tech stuff.  But I was able to figure it out and follow directions.  If you got an extra computer lying around and want to see what the Mac OS is all about give it a try…you can even do what I did…partition your current hard drive…keep Windows on one partition and OS X on the other.

Yes….I did keep windows on one partition.  It never hurts to have a backup.  I trust Macintosh, but Hackintosh…I’m still learning.

Here are some pics in case there are any skeptics.  And Yes, Hackintosh is the full OS X, not some skin or whatever running on top of another OS.

I have no idea why I seem to be posting on business/work related stuff lately, but that’s what’s on my mind so I’m going with the flow.

I had a good conversation yesterday with a couple guys I work with about managment/leadership etc…

One thing we talked about is how your Manager/Leader deals with you when you come to them with problems or when an issue comes up.

Here’s some examples we’ve experienced as subordinates that leave you less then confident in your Manager/Leader.

1. Manager/Leader goes on a tirade, yelling screaming about the issue…making statements like “We’re not doing our job”, “We’ve got to do better”, “We’ve got to work harder”, etc…

First - Most people like don’t like getting yelled at, and once the yelling starts they automatically shut down.

Second - By the manager/leader immediately going into yelling/screaming/tirade mode it simply reinforces to his/her subordinates that they do not understand the issue and have no solutions to offer, but simply to yell. (Maybe this is their idea of motivation???)

Third - Most people want to do a good job, want to succeed. Be-littleing their work ethic, knowledge or ability doesn’t motivate them. Give them the tools they need to do the job. Communicate to them the expectations. Here’s a great idea - Make the expectations reasonable. When they’re not met work out a plan together to reach them.

Fourth - By separating yourself from the solution you’re reinforcing an us vs. them mentality. It comes off as being arrogant and does nothing to build moral or team work.

I appreciate managers/leaders that admit they don’t have the answers, but are more then willing to sit down with you and work through the issues to some type of solution.

Next Scenario

2. You go to your manager/leader with an issue. They don’t give you the time, attention you feel the issue needs or they say they’ll help but do nothing.

I’ve had this happen to me on a number of occasions with one manager in particular. It’s very frustrating. I’ve lost all respect, confidence in this individual and he has become essentially useless to me. I no longer go to him with my issues, because there’s no point. I feel like I have to figure it out on my own and I do.

Works out great for the leader/manager - He gets to take credit for all the success and he’s not culpable for any of the mistakes. Maybe that’s what he wants…

Last Scenario

3. This happened to me today, which prompted this long discourse. My immediate supervisor is under an extreme amount of stress and he’s flipping out today. He’s a yeller, a curser, a not my problem, it is what it is, woe is me, I need more help, we’re setup to fail, type of guy. Very smart…very good at what he does, but hard to work with because he rubs people the wrong way.

So my problem… I’ve set across the cubicle for him for the last three days not doing much. I’ve offered to help, which I’ve been given small things to follow up on and closed out in a matter of hours.

Delegate… Learn how to let other people help you. I think most people fail at this because the initial investment is a difficult one to make when you’re already swamped. But the payoff is worth it. Take the time and walk through where you are at and what’s got to be done and let someone help you. No…It’s not easier to do it yourself.

Last thing…Deal with your stress in a way that doesn’t stress people out. I can’t stand to talk to supervisor. Every “What’s up” leads to a 10 minute conversion about how everything is F*****d up. I don’t need your stress…I’ve got issues of my own to deal with, plus you’re wasting time…that apparently you don’t have.

Organize…manage your time…Manage your todo list…plan ahead…you can’t always do the Urgent Task first or you’ll never get out of operating in that Urgency mode and you’ll continue to run around putting out fires. A little planning up front saves a lot of time and headaches later…especially if it’s stuff you know you have to do, you know you have to get out….and then wait.

I like to get ahead of the game…so I can play around bit…as you can tell.

I swear I have the worst luck ever…

As mentioned in an earlier post.  My mother-in-law got a new computer thereby passing her old Dell Inspiron 8600 laptop down to me.  I was so excited to get my hands on this thing.  I just love messing around with new gadgets.  Now the computer worked fine when it was handed over to me…fine that is when you consider all the usual glitches etc… associated with a Windows machine that you just decide to live with (Yes that’s a jab from a Mac fan).   So being new to me I had no plan on living with the little bugs that drive me crazy.

I’ve wanted to try Linux for a while now so was looking forward to the opportunity.  I swear I must have tried every livecd distro out ther, but I couldn’t get anything to work with video card (Nvidia Geforce Go5200).  To me that’s pretty lame…  I think I’m giving up on my Linux pipe dream.

So giving up on Linux I just reformatted with Windows XP.  It took me a whole day I swear, manually installing all the dell drivers (I didn’t have the Dell Recovery Disk).  Then it took several hours to install all the windows upates.  I went to bed and the computer was a clean, mean, machine.

Yesterday…got a call from my son.  The computer stopped working.  Stuck on the boot screen, keeps cycling through the boot screen no matter what you do.  I thought I could fix it when I got home…but no luck.  I can’t get the thing to do anything.  Not even boot from a CD…any CD I tried.  Something is screwed up.  I feel terrible because this was going to be my sons laptop and now it’s bricked.  I’m also really mad at myself because anyway you cut it… I bricked it.  (Though I swear I did everything right and it’s not my fault).

So I’m pretty mad today.

My wife’s going to take it to a local computer store and see if they’ll look at.  I don’t want to spend much money on it.  Looking on Ebay and Craiglist they’re going for about $200-300.  I’m thinking something went out…video card, motherboard, CD/DVD drive.  Probably not worth replacing.

What really makes me mad is that after giving up on Ubuntu I came across another idea yesterday that I was extremely excited about trying.  Can you say Hackintosh???

Check out this site…pretty interesting.

I’ve just decided that the Tech God’s hate me…  But I don’t know why I’ve sacrificed enough blood, sweat and money to them.  You think they’d show me a little love.

Maybe there just jealous that I have an iphone and they don’t.  I don’t know.   But I give up…   For now.

Had a good extended weekend.  I thought it was going to be a relaxing one, but it didn’t quite turn out that way.

On Friday we drove to flint and spent the day with my family.  Had a good time hanging out with my mom and dad.  Even though it was cold me, my son, dad and brother went out in the yard and played some soccer.  That was a blast.  My old man smoked one that caught me on the inner thigh…it stung for about 10 minutes.  Later on while I was backing him down he took a swipe at the ball and kicked my legs right out from under me….knocking me down on my Arse.  But we gave them a run for their money…they couldn’t keep up with the young and conditioned (and better looking) side of the Brennan branch.  They called the game short or Conner and I would have smoked them.

My dad got a new set of golf clubs over the offseason, which I’m completely Psyched about….because that means I’m getting a new set of clubs.  I think he’s going to give me his set of Ping Eye 2 Copper Irons.   Can’t wait for the golf season to begin.

We left a little earlier then expected due to the white out in our neck of the woods.  It took us like 3 hours to get home.  Then I shoveled the 6-7 inches of snow that fell.

Saturday was cool…first thing I did was shovel the remaining 2-3 inches of snow that fell since the night before the wall.  After that we went to the mall for some walking.  (Let me just say my wife wore me out).  We walked around that mall 4 times in about an hour.  I was sweating…panting…back hurting.

Messed around with a new computer in the afternoon….no I didn’t buy one.    My mother-in-law gave us her old Dell Inspiron 8600 laptop (She got a new Mac).  I’m going to put Linux (Kubuntu) on it.  Didn’t have much luck so far.  I think my father-in-law did a number on the computer, so I’m going to do a fresh install of Windows XP first, then I’ll try again.  I have no idea what I’m doing…I hope that works.  Anyway it gives me something to play with.

On Sunday church was great…afterward I went home and messed with the computer a little more then just when I gave up and was about to relax my wife called.  Her and her mom went to Ikea and bought a ton of stuff.  So you know what that meant…I had to put it together.

I only got to one thing the rest of the night…a bed we bought for my son.  It took me about 4 hours to put together his frame.  I must say it was easy…but time consuming.   For the first time I didn’t screw anything up…  My family was even more impressed.  They kept coming in and saying…”You’re doing a good job dad….and we haven’t even heard you yell yet”

Funny thing happened when we were all done…  My son said, “Dad… I’ll give you five dollars if you want it?”  [He gets 5$ for allowance]  “Why?” I said.   “Because of all the work you’ve done for me.”  I thought that was cute….he meant it…and he understood the work it took to put it together.  That made me feel good.  [I should have taken his $5....no I shouldn't have]  But I told him to keep his money…I was happy to build the bed for him because I loved him.

So long weekend…Busy weekend…but it was a good one.

I was just thinking about the word life today.   Examining my own life and realizing I need more of the life of God, life of spirit living inside me,  living through me.  I need to listen to and hear and read words of life.  I need life to be like a well springing out within me.  I came across the verse in Isaiah 53:10 - fitting for this week.

Still, it’s what God had in mind all along, to crush him with pain. The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin so that he’d see life come from it—life, life, and more life. And God’s plan will deeply prosper through him.