A Pilgrims Way

One of my good friends recently decided to head up the junior high portion of our churches youth program. We had been talking about it a lot, what it would look like, be like, all that stuff. Somehow someway, what God laid on my friends heart started taking shape. Next thing you know my friend and our Director of student ministries is in front of the church asking for volunteers.

Now from the beginning I had pledged my support and encouragement to my friend, but I never really wanted to be directly involved. I wanted to maintain a safe distance. Safe for me that is.  Since I worked as full time Youth Pastor for over 3 years and served many years before that as a youth leader, I felt like I put my time in and didn’t really have a desire to work with youth anymore. But I was really conflicted. I wanted to help my friend out and I truly felt that what he was doing was awesome. So I told him I would help him with the worship portion of the service, since that’s something I’m good at and I enjoy doing anyway.

Not too long after that we had our first “Leadership” meeting. Everything was laid out and presented wonderfully…textbook. Better then I could have ever done. But when we started talking about leadership forms, commit forms, meetings and outings I started having a mini anxiety attack. Call it flashbacks…bad memories, fear of commitment, leadership anxiety, whatever. Leadership became this huge package deal, a five course meal and I was really looking for something a la carte.

I left the meeting as soon as I could and was just about certain this wasn’t for me. I have enough things going on in life, work, family. I do my part already at church with the worship team, childrens ministry, and extracurricular activities. I really don’t need to add something else.

The next day I was honest with my friend about my anxieties, which he was very gracious and understanding. I didn’t want to commit to “The Program”, but I was more then willing to commit to helping a friend, leading some worship and having some fun.

But I also understood the position I would be putting my friend in. And the position I would be putting the youth director in. If you’re trying to build a program, you can’t really have rogue leaders. Even if they are well intentioned, have no personal agenda or don’t directly create any problems, indirectly there could be some issues with other team members. Everyone should have the same requirements right? Everyone should have the same expectations? Same commitment? Everyone can’t be doing their own thing.

So I talked with my friend and our youth director and we worked it out. Everything is cool, I’m feeling good about it and I’m going to help my friend and the youth program.

Long story I know…but I wanted to give you a background. Because I’ve been thinking a lot about churches and leadership lately. I’ve been on both sides of the fence now and all of a sudden I think I might have gained a little understanding. (Maybe not but please humor me). I just wished I would have figured this out when I could have actually used it.

When it comes to churches and leadership I think there’s three groups of people. (Probably more, but I can only think of 3)

1. People that are always wanting to do more. They get involved in every program, every ministry…they can never do enough. Everyone’s heard of the 80/20 principle right? These people are the 20% that do 80% of the work. Pastors and church leaders love these people. These are the people that make things happen, that get things done. These are the people that can’t say no. And you know that. You know who you can turn to in a pinch.

So as leaders how many of us are guilty of abusing these people? I’ll confess, I’m sure I wore out quite a few awesome people - Because the program or event I was trying to run was that important to the overall growth and development of the church (I’m being sarcastic here in case you missed it).

2. I think the second group of people are the people that want to help, but they don’t want to feel obligated to take on a huge commitment or responsibility. It’s easy to judge these people, even despise them, you feel like they are holding you/your ministry back. They have the talents and abilities you/your church needs, but they are either too lazy, apathetic, broken, damaged or (Pick your favorite adjective) to help.

I think this is one of the hardest groups of people to work with. They have already determined how much and what they are willing to give and you’re not going to get any more out of them. But isn’t that their right? Can we be OK with that?

Maybe the greatest potential lies in harnessing the power of this group. Being able to accept what they have to offer and being willing to allow them to work and serve in their comfort zone instead of making them sign up for the program or team. (Are those commitment letters legally binding anyway? I’ve never been able to figure that one out.)

3. Then there’s the third group of people that don’t want to help, don’t want to serve, don’t want to be involved other then showing up on Sunday morning and sitting in a pew. Peer 2 Peer networks would call these people leeches (harsh I know). I’ll admit I don’t have a clue or any insight into this group. I’ve never been one to sit back and not get involved….but I’m sure there are some good reasons.

I think we at least have to recognize the value of these people. Without them attending, showing up to our services who would we serve? Maybe….hopefully…they support the church financially, making it possible to do some of the awesome things the church does. Can we accept their attendance as support? Support of what we’re doing, what we’re about. Can we recognize that in some way they identify themselves with the church and they feel they are a part of what the church is doing.

I don’t know…just my thoughts.

Tell me what you think.